Monthly Archives: November 2011

Ordinary Thanksgiving, Extraordinary Family

One year I spent Thanksgiving in Grenada visiting my friend Jenny and her husband Chris.  Just going to the grocery store was an adventure.  We hiked to waterfalls, sun-bathed on sandy beaches, and explored the island, whizzing around on Jenny’s moped  (which I crashed when I tried to drive).

Speeding around on this red beauty, we laughed and sang and prayed we wouldn’t get mugged.  (Chris asked me to carry his machete for safety precautions, but I refused.) It was wild and adventurous and a Thanksgiving I’ll never forget.

However, there is something equally magical about Thanksgivings that are wildly normal and routine, Thanksgivings spent with family in warm living rooms, watching football and devouring tasty food.  I probably won’t remember this year’s Thanksgiving for years to come; there were no life-threatening situations or island adventures.  But it was a marvelous day, nonetheless, a marvelous day overflowing with gratitude and gravy. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 24

Yes, it’s Tuesday and I’m posting a Sunday Morning Confessions.  I told you that I’ve become a delinquent blogger for the next few months and I have too many confessions to wait until next Sunday.  So, ladies and gentlemen, here they are: confessions from the last two and a half weeks.  Be prepared for some doozies.  (And friends and family whom I’ve spoken to about it, don’t expect to read about “the date” just yet.  I’m still too traumatized to write about it.)

1. I’m slowly adjusting to life as a smart phone user.  Apparently all of the US of A has had smart phones for quite some time now, and I was one of the lone few who was still rocking the flip phone.  Whatever.  I loved that phone.  I loved that I had to hit the number 7 four times to text the letter S and I loved that no one ever expected me to call or text them back because I probably didn’t have my phone with me.

Entering this “smart phone” world has been an interesting transition.  My first “practice text” in the store was a bit of a disaster.  It literally took me 5 minutes to text “What time do you get off work?”  It was painful.  My sister and the sales guy openly mocked me.  Interesting sales strategy but I still bought the phone.

I still haven’t quite figured out auto-correct and Siri so this was a conversation I had with my sister-in-law:

I suppose that’s what I get for trying to sound like Snoop Dogg.  Apparently Siri doesn’t say “fo shizzle” and neither should I.  And if you were wondering, yes, I did finally learn how to add punctuation to text. Continue reading

Cutting Back- Cut Me Some Slack

You may have noticed that I’ve been kinda MIA on this lil’ blog of late.  I apologize.  During the last two weeks, I’ve spent my typical “writing time” preparing for talks I gave in chapel.  I’d rather look like a slacker here than look like an idiot in front of the entire school.  Although- I did just tell all the boys on campus that I pee my pants on trampolines so perhaps I did not accomplish that goal of “don’t look like an idiot.”  And well, I’ll be completely honest and confess that I just got the i-phone so instead of writing at night, I’ve been play with my new toy.  “Seven Little Words” anyone?  I’m a tiny bit obsessed with this game. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 23

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning.  The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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1.  I was busted picking a wedgie during class.  When my undies bunch, my go-to maneuver is to hang out in the back of the classroom while my students work on something independently.  I also use this strategy when I need to pick my nose.  I suppose I could try Kevin Jame’s move as seen IN THIS AWESOME CLIP(begins at minute 7:50), but I prefer to hide in the back of the room so I can really “go for it” and quickly and efficiently dislodge the offending garment.  However, this week, a freshman boy had a pertinent question at the wrong moment.  He turned around and made eye contact with me right as I was mid-pick.  I’m not sure who felt more awkward at that moment, but he chose not to ask his question.

This awful moment reminded me of that moment when you walk in on someone in the bathroom.  Eye contact at that moment is thee absolute worst.  I so dread that moment that in my dreams a few nights ago, I got in a car accident and when the police showed up, I was in the bathroom and the officer walked in on me while I was mid-wipe.  Talk about a nightmare.  I don’t dream about vampires or chainsaw murderers; no, my nightmares involve painfully awkward moments.

2.  I eat A LOT of cereal.  Need proof?  My roommates and I have a shelf just for cereal.  All but two of these boxes are mine.

Until college, I honestly didn’t know that people my age ate “non-sugar” cereals.  Why would anyone ever choose Special K when they could have Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Another cereal confession:  I wish there was a meat-flavored cereal.  Does this sound good to anyone else?  For instance, tonight I had Cheerios for dinner.  It was delicious but I thought, “Man, this would be even better if the Cheerios were steak-flavored.”  I don’t know, guys.  I think this could be my million dollar idea. Continue reading

Wow Wednesdays 14- Pulpit Poo

I love my church for many reasons and one of them is because during the recent sermon series about our fight against sin, poo has been mentioned from the pulpit on two separate occasions.

Yes, I do find bathroom humor slightly more humorous than the average girl, and possibly more than some guys.  I get a kick out of signs like this:

and appreciate quotes like this:

I blame this somewhat “unsophisticated” sense of humor on the years spent sharing a bathroom with my “pees all over the seat” and “forgets to flush” brothers.  Over the years, I’ve received several text messages from them with pictures of their poo.  And last Easter, I returned the favor.  I typically wouldn’t do this, but I’m a sucker for coincidence, so I just had to send them a picture of my “creation” which bore a striking resemblance to the Easter bunny.  Don’t worry, I promise not to post that picture.  But you can see why these poo references from the pulpit made me leak tears of laughter and inspired my recent “wow moments.”

In the first sermon, the pastor told the story of when he pooped his pants while running through a subway station in Mexico.  I have never laughed so hard in church.  And I’ll probably never forget this story.  The image of my pastor, sitting on the subway in Mexico City, wearing khaki pants with poo streaks running down his legs, and white shoes splattered with poo, is an image that is burned into my brain.  Forever.

He told us how he thought he was pretty inconspicuous until the train stopped and every single passenger got off.  And he then explained how if we think no one notices our sin, if we think our sin doesn’t reek, we’re terribly wrong. Continue reading