I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions. Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world. I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning. The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.
1. I was busted picking a wedgie during class. When my undies bunch, my go-to maneuver is to hang out in the back of the classroom while my students work on something independently. I also use this strategy when I need to pick my nose. I suppose I could try Kevin Jame’s move as seen IN THIS AWESOME CLIP(begins at minute 7:50), but I prefer to hide in the back of the room so I can really “go for it” and quickly and efficiently dislodge the offending garment. However, this week, a freshman boy had a pertinent question at the wrong moment. He turned around and made eye contact with me right as I was mid-pick. I’m not sure who felt more awkward at that moment, but he chose not to ask his question.
This awful moment reminded me of that moment when you walk in on someone in the bathroom. Eye contact at that moment is thee absolute worst. I so dread that moment that in my dreams a few nights ago, I got in a car accident and when the police showed up, I was in the bathroom and the officer walked in on me while I was mid-wipe. Talk about a nightmare. I don’t dream about vampires or chainsaw murderers; no, my nightmares involve painfully awkward moments.
2. I eat A LOT of cereal. Need proof? My roommates and I have a shelf just for cereal. All but two of these boxes are mine.
Until college, I honestly didn’t know that people my age ate “non-sugar” cereals. Why would anyone ever choose Special K when they could have Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Another cereal confession: I wish there was a meat-flavored cereal. Does this sound good to anyone else? For instance, tonight I had Cheerios for dinner. It was delicious but I thought, “Man, this would be even better if the Cheerios were steak-flavored.” I don’t know, guys. I think this could be my million dollar idea. Continue reading