Kids Say Weird Things
My friend Amanda teaches little ones in Canada and she sometimes writes posts like THIS ONE recording the bizarre things they say. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re so young or because they’re so Canadian, but these kids are downright weird. (It’s probably a combination of both.)
My students are American teenagers so they are not nearly as cute or as Canadian-weird, but lately they have been saying some pretty ridiculous things. The following are a few comments and conversations from the semester that have made me love my job even more.
First, you need to know that the students wear uniforms so they are extra observant when it comes to what their teachers are wearing. Here are two of my favorite student observations concerning my clothes:
A: If I wore your outfit, I would look like a homeless hobo in pajamas, but you are totally pulling it off.
Me: Thank you?
C: Why do you have so many cute clothes when you’re not even dating anyone?
Me: Excellent question.
To understand these next comments, you need to know that I am not very how you say “affectionate” and am therefore not much of a hugger. And when I say “not a hugger,” I mean I really don’t like hugging and try to avoid it when at all possible. (If you too have an aversion to hugging, you will LOVE THIS POST by a fellow hug-hater.)
C: We’ve been having a competition all semester to see who you will hug first.
Me: Please stop.
T: How about a grandpa?
Me: What are you talking about?
T: You said you’d hug me if my mom or dad died, but how bout if my grandpa died?
Me: Nice try. I know he died last year.
Said after I gave a kid a high-five:
B: That’s the second time you’ve made physical contact with me. The first time was last year when you bumped my shoulder.
Me: Please don’t keep track of that statistic.
A comment I overheard while our Cross Country team was stretching:
J: If you ever brought a gun to school, I would tell on you so hard.
A conversation I overheard in class:
D: It was not my day yesterday.
C: Why not?
D: My boomer rang broke.
Lastly, the following is a conversation I had yesterday with a kid who collapsed after our last Cross Country meet and went to the hospital because he was having serious heart issues.
Me: Hey, how’s your heart?
Kid: Good. I’m getting 2 pacemakers put in.
Kid: Yeah, I’m having surgery next week.
Me: Are you serious? You’re having HEART surgery?
Kid: Pretty cool, right?
Me: Cool? No. “Cool” is definitely not the right adjective. You’re only 16!
Kid: Miss Hardeman.
Kid: I’m just kidding.
Who does that?!?
Gotta love these kids…