Why you got to be all crinkly and gross? I used to think you were kinda tasty when I was little and you came in those cute, miniature boxes. But then I grew up and realized that like fish sticks you’ve always been nasty and have been fooling innocent kids for years.
What happened to you?
You used to be so good when you were a grape.
Who decided to shrivel up your goodness and then ruin perfectly good trail mixes by adding you? Don’t you see that at the bottom of every bag of trail mix, you’re all that’s left? There’s a reason, raisins. It’s because you’re disgusting and nobody likes you! Plus, sometimes we mistake you for chocolate chips and when we bite into your gooey grossness, we feel deceived and disappointed. Why can’t you be more like MnM’s? No one’s ever sad to see them.
Some people put you on celery covered in peanut butter and call it “ants on a log.” I like peanut butter on just about anything, but when you came along, you totally ruined that snack. Have you ever eaten an actual ant? They’re terrible. Just like you. Ants on a log? No thank you. I’ll just take the log.
Also, who in their right mind decided to add you to cookies?!? Was that some kind of joke? Oatmeal cookies could have been so delicious but you had to weasel your way into that recipe and completely destroy what could have been a beautiful combination of sugar and oats. Thanks a lot.
You ruined a perfectly good cookie and I wish you never existed.
PS- At least you’re not as bad as pickles.