1. Sometimes I look like a bum in public. Right now is one of those times. It’s Friday night. Others are out at the movies and parties and football games. Me? I’m at Panera with wet hair, mascara-smudged eyes, and sweatpants that have cat hair and peanut butter on them. In my defense, introverts can only take so much “socializing” so by Friday night, I’m typically beat and in some major need of some “bum” time.
Okay, so it’s not just Fridays. It was also on Wednesday this week. After a long day of acting like a grown-up, nothing sounds better than lounging in a pair of sweats and eating a bowl of Luckies. Continue reading
I drank mold last night. A lot of mold. It still makes me gag when I think about it. I keep a 2 gallon jug of blue gatorade by my desk in my bedroom. Apparently it had been there for awhile. I burned my tongue on some scalding hot Easy Mac so I quickly unscrewed the top and chugged from the jug. I did this several times. I love blue gatorade. But when I was almost done with my gourmet meal, I was taking another swig and looked inside. There appeared to be seaweed floating around in my drink. An entire colony of mold had been growing in my blue gatorade jug that, now that I think about it, had probably been sitting by my desk since December. Maybe November. It wasn’t just a few spots of mold. It was giant pieces of waving, green mold swimming around in the blue gatorade ocean. And I had been drinking it, completely unaware. I continued to gag as I poured it down the drain, but not before showing my roommate who also nearly puked.