Tag Archives: Sunday Morning Confessions

Sunday Morning Confessions 24

Yes, it’s Tuesday and I’m posting a Sunday Morning Confessions.  I told you that I’ve become a delinquent blogger for the next few months and I have too many confessions to wait until next Sunday.  So, ladies and gentlemen, here they are: confessions from the last two and a half weeks.  Be prepared for some doozies.  (And friends and family whom I’ve spoken to about it, don’t expect to read about “the date” just yet.  I’m still too traumatized to write about it.)

1. I’m slowly adjusting to life as a smart phone user.  Apparently all of the US of A has had smart phones for quite some time now, and I was one of the lone few who was still rocking the flip phone.  Whatever.  I loved that phone.  I loved that I had to hit the number 7 four times to text the letter S and I loved that no one ever expected me to call or text them back because I probably didn’t have my phone with me.

Entering this “smart phone” world has been an interesting transition.  My first “practice text” in the store was a bit of a disaster.  It literally took me 5 minutes to text “What time do you get off work?”  It was painful.  My sister and the sales guy openly mocked me.  Interesting sales strategy but I still bought the phone.

I still haven’t quite figured out auto-correct and Siri so this was a conversation I had with my sister-in-law:

I suppose that’s what I get for trying to sound like Snoop Dogg.  Apparently Siri doesn’t say “fo shizzle” and neither should I.  And if you were wondering, yes, I did finally learn how to add punctuation to text. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 23

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning.  The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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1.  I was busted picking a wedgie during class.  When my undies bunch, my go-to maneuver is to hang out in the back of the classroom while my students work on something independently.  I also use this strategy when I need to pick my nose.  I suppose I could try Kevin Jame’s move as seen IN THIS AWESOME CLIP(begins at minute 7:50), but I prefer to hide in the back of the room so I can really “go for it” and quickly and efficiently dislodge the offending garment.  However, this week, a freshman boy had a pertinent question at the wrong moment.  He turned around and made eye contact with me right as I was mid-pick.  I’m not sure who felt more awkward at that moment, but he chose not to ask his question.

This awful moment reminded me of that moment when you walk in on someone in the bathroom.  Eye contact at that moment is thee absolute worst.  I so dread that moment that in my dreams a few nights ago, I got in a car accident and when the police showed up, I was in the bathroom and the officer walked in on me while I was mid-wipe.  Talk about a nightmare.  I don’t dream about vampires or chainsaw murderers; no, my nightmares involve painfully awkward moments.

2.  I eat A LOT of cereal.  Need proof?  My roommates and I have a shelf just for cereal.  All but two of these boxes are mine.

Until college, I honestly didn’t know that people my age ate “non-sugar” cereals.  Why would anyone ever choose Special K when they could have Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Another cereal confession:  I wish there was a meat-flavored cereal.  Does this sound good to anyone else?  For instance, tonight I had Cheerios for dinner.  It was delicious but I thought, “Man, this would be even better if the Cheerios were steak-flavored.”  I don’t know, guys.  I think this could be my million dollar idea. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 22

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning.  The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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Before I jump into this week’s confessions, an update on a few from last week:  first, my mom tried to scare me again.  She thought I was on my way to their house so she hid in the bushes in the front of the house.  She didn’t confess to exactly how long she was out there, but it was for quite a while considering I was over an hour late and she had given up by the time arrived.  The best part is that at one point, her neighbor came out, saw my mom smashed in the bushes, and gave her a questioning look that seemed to say, “Cindy, what on earth are you doing?”  So my mom said, “Oh hey Carol, just doing some trimming,” and then pretended to trim the bushes with her fingers shaped like scissors.

My mom: Cindy Scissorhands.   She’s the best.  (nickname credit to my dad)  And Mom, you can’t get mad at me for sharing this story because you never made me promise I wouldn’t like you did about that other delightful conversation:)

Also, remember how I procrastinated by petting the neighbor’s cat?  Turns out I made a friend for life.  Four nights this week, I’ve come home to this cat waiting in front of our garage.  I was on the phone one of the times so I opened my car door and

he/she jumped right in.  (I haven’t checked for balls so I don’t know the gender.)  That’s a lie.  I did check, but I couldn’t tell.  Plus, I don’t know if they cut those off or deflate them or shrink them or what not when a male cat is neutered.  And I want to assure you that, despite this picture, I am NOT turning into the crazy cat lady.  I know, I know: “Thou doth protest too much,” but this particular cat is particularly friendly.  Any of you would pet it too.  You might not let it in your car, but you would pet it.

Moving on…here are this week’s confessions: Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 21

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning.  The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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1. I looked like an idiot when I didn’t know who well-known people are.  My most recent idiot moment came on Saturday.  Apparently Brendon Jennings was standing a few feet away.  When I was informed of this by excited voices, I responded with, “Who’s that? Did he go to Valley?”  People always assume that since I’m a basketball coach, I follow the NBA.  Obviously I don’t.

My other idiot moment came during our bunco game.  Yes, bunco, as in the dice game old ladies play.  I’m in a group that meets once a month and it’s a cool thing, okay.  I embarrassed myself by revealing my ignorance when I was at a table with the mega lotto winner (she got a check for $ 167 million last year and still loves to win 20 bucks).  She made a reference to Richard Ramirez and I, having never heard of this guy, asked if he was a childhood friend.  Apparently he is a well-known serial killer.  Man I hate looking like an idiot. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 20

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  I try to post these in the morning, but let’s be honest, they typically get posted on Sunday night or Monday morning.  The best part about these confessions is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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1. I was the line police while at the movies.  There are certain types of people in this world whom I have very little tolerance for.  These people get under my skin and bring out a side of me I’m not proud of.  These folk push my buttons and cause me to act in ways that are far from Christ-like.  Who are these troublesome, irksome, loathsome people?  You’ve probably met all of them and I really hope you’re not one of them.  I may have yelled at you or rolled my eyes at you or confronted you if you are one.  So who are they?

They are the incompetent drivers, the mean strangers, and the line cutters of the world. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 19

I’m not Catholic but on Sundays, I make confessions.  Instead of telling them to a priest, I tell them to you, the internet world.  The best part about this is when you make them too, so don’t be bashful and add your own confession in the comments.

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1. I saw a kid puke in the grocery store and I had to stifle a laugh.  Like watching a car accident, I couldn’t look away as the two year old ralphed all over himself and the shopping cart.  I couldn’t help but cringe and giggle.  Moms everywhere are probably judging me right now for my lack of sympathy, but the toddler was calmly sitting in the cart and then suddenly blowing chunks everywhere.  This is the best part: his dad immediately ran to the kid and CAUGHT THE PUKE IN HIS HANDS. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 18

1.  Sometimes I look like a bum in public.  Right now is one of those times.  It’s Friday night.  Others are out at the movies and parties and football games.  Me?  I’m at Panera with wet hair, mascara-smudged eyes, and sweatpants that have cat hair and peanut butter on them.  In my defense, introverts can only take so much “socializing” so by Friday night, I’m typically beat and in some major need of some “bum” time.

Okay, so it’s not just Fridays.  It was also on Wednesday this week.  After a long day of acting like a grown-up, nothing sounds better than lounging in a pair of sweats and eating a bowl of Luckies. Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 17- Spanish Style

I have some more classroom confessions from this week.  They involve misspelling simple words on the board,  crying while reading aloud, and being asked by a freshman boy if “douchey” is an adjective.  (For the record, it IS used as an adjective, but it has yet to make it into Webster’s Dictionary.  He received a warning about inappropriate comments though I couldn’t contain my initial reaction which was a loud snort/laugh.)  But rather than reliving those awkward moments, allow me to indulge myself instead, cling to summer just a bit longer, and relive a week spent in Spain this summer with one of my oldest friends.

And by “oldest”, I mean craziest.  I’m pretty sure everyone has a friend that they’ve labeled their “crazy friend so-n-so.”  Mine goes by the name Christy.  Sometimes I call her my hippy friend; sometimes she’s my “friend with the crazy hair”; but usually she’s simply “my crazy friend, Christy.” Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 16- First Week Back

The first week of school requires some major adjustments for teachers.  Our days of lounging by the pool with a book in hand quickly become a distant memory as we step back into the classroom and onto the stage to perform for 6 straight hours in front of 20-30 teenagers who scrutinize every word we say and necklace we wear.  Not only do our vocal cords have to adjust to all this non-stop blabbing, our feet have to adjust to all the standing and our bladders have to adjust to all the holding.  Twice I came home and collapsed on my bedroom floor and woke up 2 hours later.  My cat was very concerned.

But I’m not complaining because I really do love this job.  In the midst of all this “readjusting” to my life as a teenager entertainer, I did some things that I need to confess.  And I’m not just talking about the fact that I missed the week of meetings before school started because I forgot to look at a calendar when planning my Europe trip.  No, I’m talking about confessions from inside room A1.  Confessions that I’m sure have been shared with parents by now and confessions which may or may not be the reason the principal stopped by my room on Friday and said we needed to chat.  Dun dun dun.  (to be read in the tone of dread)  I’m really hoping it’s just to remind me to check my e-mails every once in a while and not because of…,well, because of one of these: Continue reading

Sunday Morning Confessions 15- International Flights

One of the things I love about flying to other countries is FLYING to other countries.  I realize not everyone will agree with me on this one, but I absolutely love international flights.  LOVE them.  Sure, I suffer from swelling, achy knees, kinks in my neck, and jet lag.  But I love the food and the movies and the people-watching and of course the adventure, oh the sweet adventure,  that international flying allows.  Some swollen toes and fingers and bloodshot eyes are a small price to pay for the adventure to be found on international journeys.

When I board a plane to begin a long flight, I’m always tempted to start high-fiving the other passengers as I squeeze down the aisle.  “Isn’t this great, guys?  We’re on an adventure together!”  Don’t worry, I don’t actually do it.  Common sense tells me that it would freak others out and I should try to just look a little anxious and annoyed as I scrambled for overhead compartment space for my carry-on, so I refrain from high-fiving.   But in my head?  In my head I’m not shuffling down the tiny aisles; I’m skipping.  I’m also sizing up all the other passengers and considering who I will befriend and form alliances with should we happen to crash on a deserted island.  Does anyone else do this? Continue reading